Boyfriend…sex…basketball..…
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months now and I love him dearly. Well I tell every one that I love them but its deeper than that I feel for others. Anyway, he is younger than me by 10 months (such a coincidence) and he has had sex before. I am 17 turning 18 and I am still a virgin. He wants to have sex but I don’t feel like I am ready. Here is the catch 22, I want to but I was raped when I was younger so every time we reach the undressing stage I start having flashbacks and can’t go on any more.
2) We have been dating so long I guess I am starting to feel like it is time for a change of scenery and test the waters. I want to be with him but with me going off to college and him still being a sophomore in high school, the long distance thing just wont work for me.
3) All I really want to do is play basketball but I don’t know how to be all about ball and maintain a relationship and 4.00 GPA. Something has got to give.
What do I do??? My sanity is my happiness. Please help!
This will show a lot about your relationship; if he truly cares about you and your mind and soul (not just your body) then he will be willing to go at a pace your comfortable with.
Go beyond telling him what happened to you, and discuss with him how you feel when you are in those situations with him. Stress that it isn’t his fault, but it was a traumatic experience and it still effects you.
Also, keep in mind the fact that this will be an LDR soon; don’t sacrifice something you aren’t ready for if you aren’t ready for it, because you may regret it and it may complicate things more for you and your future situations.
After reading everything you’ve said, it seems like you really have doubts about having sex and are really unsure if it’s what you want to do. don’t give in just because you feel it’s “expected” of you. it isnt expected and shouldn’t be expected by anyone, including him.
good luck!
Sex isn’t for unmarried people in my opinion
don’t pick sex over school! you have your hole life for sex!
tell him your past and what happend things will probably change