Comments on: Long Distance Relationships Vs. Short Distance Relationships…?

By: perfectv

perfectv — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:14:32 +0000

It would be cheating, and I hope you’re not okay with that.
I don’t think all LDRs are destined to fail; an overwhelming majority of them do, but my sister and her husband were long distance for nearly five years before they got married.
The thing to keep in mind is that you’re in college and haven’t yet found your peak of emotional maturity. I didn’t really know what I wanted in life until I was 25, lol. So your feelings for your boyfriend may change. They may already be changing now, since you’re interested in other guys. He may be interested in other girls.
The two of you need to talk — by phone, if possible. You need to discuss your future plans and solidify your feelings for each other. If you feel up to it, tell him about this other guy and how you feel confused about it. You need to have complete honesty with your boyfriend; it’s only fair. Ask him what he does when he feels tempted by other people. Work on this situation together, and you’ll either come out of it as a stronger couple or you’ll realize that maybe it’s time to go your separate ways.

By: Mr. Taco

Mr. Taco — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:36:08 +0000

I have the same answer for everyone who is involved with a long-distance relationship. It CAN work!! But ONLY if there is a reasonable chance that you will be permanently and physically together in the reasonably near future. Otherwise, what is the point? It is a big waste of time when you could be dating someone who is actually available to you. So think it out. Does your long-distant flame have any intention of making it the real thing anytime soon? If not, you’d be making a smart move taking the guy that actually might want to spend his life with you for real.
Good luck!

By: DanceTea

DanceTea — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 12:12:22 +0000

….That would be so wrong girl. STAY FAITHFUL to your boyfriend. Save some money up, and go visit him, or ask him to visit you and help pay for his expenses. You said yourself you’re only attracted to this new guy because he’s so much like *your current boyfriend*!
HIH

By: ac090607

ac090607 — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 05:15:16 +0000

you need to follow your heart on this one..if you really love your long distance guy then stay with him, it CAN work, i am a navy wife and its worked for me for 4 years! if you love someone you will wait no matter how long, no matter how far for them!! … but if you really like this other guy and its worth letting go of your long distance guy then go for it..its really all up to you think about it and you will know what to do.

By: kansas_d

kansas_d — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:54:43 +0000

I feel very confident that LDR’s can work – I’m in one. But I think, in order for an LDR to succeed, certain things are a must.
There has to be a very focused committment, there has to be unshakable TRUST between the couple (I can’t stress that one enough), you have to maintain regular and frequent contact (email, phone, chat, whatever), you need to see each other as often as possible and always have the next meeting set so you have something to look forward to, and I think there has to be a “light at the end of the tunnel” for you to focus on – that is, the end goal of being together permanently has to be tangible – you have to know when you can count on it coming to an end.
Back to trust, I think jealousy is the biggest enemy of the LDR. In a close-distance relationship, you get visual affirmation of your partner’s devotion and faith. In the case of an LDR, you have to rely on blind faith and trust. If you truly love each other, you have to trust each other and be willing to bend over backwards to reassure each other of your faithfulness. If you can’t offer that reassurance to your boyfriend, if you don’t WANT to offer that reassurance, then you might want to carefully consider just how committed you really are to him.
So, to specifically answer your question about this guy who reminds you of your boyfriend, I think you’d be poisoning your LDR for sure. One thing I’ve learned is, the old saying, “what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him” just doesn’t work. The truth always comes out sooner or later. And once your boyfriend finds out you were unfaithful, it will bring on hurt, anger and resentment. And, worst of all, he will have a very, VERY hard time trusting you after that. Once that happens, then I agree that your LDR would become almost “impossible”.
I don’t mean to sound harsh. But please understand, I’m totally committed to my girlfriend and our LDR. We’ve worked hard to build trust and overcome the insecurites of being so far apart. If your boyfriend is totally committed to you, then his trust is something you just shouldn’t mess with.
Bottom line, I think you have to ask yourself the tough question – “Am I ready to be totally committed to my boyfriend and this LDR”? If your answer is yes, then you know what to do. If your answer is no, he deserves to know that so he can decide how committed he wants to stay to you.
I wish you both the very best!