Young Military Marriage Following A Long Distance Relationship?
Hello! My boyfriend and I have been dating for well over three years. He is 18 and I am 19. For the last year we have been long distance (his family moved four states away, and I moved to college), however it has not been an issue for us keeping our love strong. At the end of this year, when he graduates high school, he is joining the air force. Both sets of our parents love him and I together and are okay with the idea of a young marriage, mainly because they know we are perfect for each other and make each other very happy. We have the thought of engagement and a wedding in our minds but have never said anything to make it one hundred percent.
My question is, in your opinion, should we get married now or wait till after his training.
I am almost finished with my associates degree, and plan on finishing my schooling where ever I move to with him (if that is the case). Either that, or I will finish my bachelors degree at the university I am at now and move with him afterwards.
What do you think would be a better situation?
Thank you so much for your advice, but please, not ridiculing.
Personally…I think you should concentrate on school, then marriage. Stay with your parents as long as you can while you’re attending school. If your love is strong, marriage can wait a year or two. In the long run you’ll be glad you did. Good luck, hope this helps….
I personally believe that you are too young. True love will wait. You have a long life to live. However, if you insist on marrying him, I would strongly suggest that you wait until after training. Marriage is hard. A military marriage is even harder. The separation is very difficult and he will not have time for you until after training. It is best if he is able to concentrate without having to worry about you. God bless!
my best advice would be to follow your heart. marriage is beautiful for everyone who desires to have that kind of commitment.
I have seen MANY military relationships come and some of them have already went because of early marriages. First of all I give you MUCH credit for preparing for the military life because I lived it for 6 months and it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do. I LOVE it, but the guy just wasnt for me. I think you would be perfect doing a long engagement, while both you you know you want to spend the rest of your life together, and it would prevent the possibility of you divorcing soon down the road. (My best friend married her high school sweetheart before he was stationed in Cali and they just got divorced because they married to quickly)
I DO believe that your situation can workout for the best if you get married, so just follow your heart and if you want to tie the knot before the GO FOR IT =) everyone deserves true love so if you’ve found it then don’t loose it!
While the thought of getting married now isn’t really bad it may have some cons to it. mainly the time you guys will get to spend together due to him going into training and you going to school and studies. If it is in your heart that it feels like the right time then by all means tie the knot. If you think that things will be easier once all the hectic stuff has settled then wait. i would wait til he at least got back that way you guys can spend as much time as possible together and not have to worry about him leaving until he is shipped off.
I am so glad you are experiencing true love but forever is a long time. You both have the rest of your lives to be together don’t rush things especially since his younger than you. Love only grows and distance makes the heart grow fonder. So hang in there finish your education and wait till he gets out of the service that way you’ll both be older and have more life experience.
I was in the exact situation except I was 2 1/2 years younger than my husband, we started going together when I was 14 and he was 17. He went into the service after graduating from high school. As soon as I turned 18 we got married. Now 36 years later I can honestly say we were way too young to have gotten married. We went through several years of infertility, lost our first son and finally after seven years of marriage had our son who is now 29. When he was three my husband had an affair with our neighbor and things have never been the same. He didn’t have a good excuse of course he apologized and still 26 years later the pain is still there. I didn’t divorce he though I should have because my son deserved his father. My father died when I was only six. After more infertility and losing our daughter we finally had two more children. My daughter is 19 and still living at home and my youngest son, 17 just went to live with his brother because e I am now disable. The good thing is I finally had the family I wanted and they all have the same father. (I have 3 siblings each with a different father so it was an important issue for me.)
We’ve always had a good sex life which is what has probably kept us together but the pain of his infidelity has never gone away and I have never truly regained full trust in him. I have reminded faithful our entire marriage.
What I have learned through the years is that time itself is more valuable than anything in life. The quote “If only I knew then what I know now.” is so true.
So my advise is you have an entire life in front of you both so enjoy your youth. You have plenty of time to get married and have children so take your time enjoy your life and get your education make sure you both have enough in common and continue to grow in the same direction so you can have a happy and healthy marriage that will last a life time.
I think you should finish your bachelors degree first. My sister married her husband in the military, never finished her degree, had a child, and now she is trying to make her marriage work because she hates her husband for not letting her go back to school since he doesnt believe in daycare. Another story- I was in the military, my husband was finishing college in another state living with his dad, we were already married and had a child. He cheated on me. We were both 22 yrs old, young, and believed our love could conquer all. There are CRAZY stories about people cheating on eachother while in training. Wait until after training and your degree so you both know for sure, and wont hurt eachother worse with promises unkept.
its difficult i wont lie.. you could get married if you want befor ehe leaves for basic, but obviously you wont be able to live him . i dont know if spouses can live together while they are at AIT (training after basic) but when he gets to his duty station you can live with him there.. on base or off..
so with him graduating HS still , then basic, and then AIT this could take like what maybe a little over a year..
you guys should do whatever you two are most comfortable with!!!